Everyone in a family has different family roles. Family Systems Theory states that each family member is part of a larger system. It is just like the human body, that relies on different organs and cells who work together. A family depends on its members, who interact with each other to maintain a way of living that feels normal or balanced for them.
The family systems theory roles are usually used when working with people who have addictions or children who seem to act out without a clear reason. We follow such an approach because we believe in the idea that the real issue may not lie with just one person, but with the whole family system. The therapists think that if we help the entire family, we can get the best results. If it is not possible to work with the family, we can also help the individual to understand their family systems roles, and this understanding can bring positive change in the person.
History of Family Systems Theory
An American professor and psychiatrist named Murray Bowen developed the theory initially in the 1950s. He worked with the National Institute of Mental Health, and he also worked with families in different clinics. His approach was very different from earlier theories that focused only on the individual. Bowen used to observe how the whole family system, including each person’s family role, can affect the behaviour of a person.
Bowen believed that families are emotionally connected, and a change in one person can affect the whole family. Earlier theories recognized that emotional and psychological struggles often begin in childhood and within the family. However, Murray Bowen considered these problems as a part of a bigger picture.
Systemic Family Therapy Techniques
Emotions play a big part in how families function. Family members can sense and respond to each other’s feelings. They can recognise the positive and negative feelings of each other, even if no one told them. This connection creates a strong bond and interdependence among them.
The emotional association can impact everyone in the family. Bowen explained it through eight main concepts that can help to understand and analyze family interactions.
Triangulation
Triangulation happens when three people are involved in a relationship, and two of them form a closer bond. They leave the third person so the third person feels like an outsider. These family roles shift naturally over time in healthy families. But problems occur when one person is always stuck in the outsider role. It can cause emotional stress and result in unhealthy family patterns.
Self Definition
A healthy person can stay true to themselves while being closely connected to others. Bowen explained that people with low differentiation can give in to pressure and try to meet others’ expectations, and in this process, they can even lose their sense of self. They also tend to take things personally, without realizing that the emotions and self-esteem of someone else could be the influencing factor in this interaction.
Emotional Patterns of a Family
The concept describes common patterns in family roles and relationships. The relationships show these patterns in areas like conflict, dysfunction, impairment, and emotional distance.
- Conflict happens when partners try to control, change, or criticize each other.
- Dysfunction appears when one partner gives in to the unfair demands or criticism of the other.
- Impairment occurs when parents’ anxiety or issues harm the children emotionally, and it becomes hard for the child to develop a strong sense of self.
- Emotional Distance occurs among family members because of family tension. The tension changes into a big issue, so some members pull away to avoid stress or conflict. It becomes difficult for individuals to continue their family roles.
Family Projection Process
Parents unconsciously transmit their unresolved emotional issues and anxieties onto a child, causing that child to develop symptoms or difficulties.
Multigenerational Transmission
It describes how patterns of functioning, emotional reactivity, and differentiation levels are passed down through families across generations.
Emotional Cutoff
Individuals manage unresolved emotional issues with family by reducing or completely avoiding emotional contact, either through physical distance or internal withdrawal.
Dysfunctional Family Roles
People take on certain roles in every family system. Every family has its own family roles list. These roles can shift and change as members grow and develop in healthy families. But in unhealthy families, individuals are stuck in their roles. When someone tries to change their role, like an addict working to get clean, the rest of the family may resist, even if the change is positive. Other family members resist the changes because any shift can disrupt the usual way of functioning for the family.
The Enabler
The enabler is the family member who takes on the problems and responsibilities of the struggling parent, often one with a mental health issue or addiction. They try to protect the parent from consequences and do whatever it takes to keep things running smoothly. The downside is that it prevents real change, since people usually don’t improve unless they face the results of their actions.
The Hero or Golden Child
The hero is the family member who tries to make everything seem normal from the outside. They work hard to succeed and usually become their parents’ trusted confidante. They feel pressure to always be strong, brave, and perfect. The constant need to perform can cause stress-related health issues in the individual. They may also suffer from overworking and anxiety from trying to meet high expectations.
The Scapegoat
The scapegoat is often seen as the troublemaker or rebel and is usually the one brought into therapy as the “problem.” In truth, they are often the most honest about what’s really going on in the family. Their anger and defiance come from calling out issues others try to hide. Sadly, because they are often emotionally mistreated, they may seek unhealthy relationships and attention in negative ways, reflecting the role they had in their family.
The Lost Child
Also called the quiet one or the dreamer, the lost child tries to stay out of the way and avoid family drama. They withdraw as their coping mechanism. As a result, they may struggle with communication and feel lonely. People in this family role may also have a hard time forming close relationships. Such individuals often hide their emotions and pretend they’re not affected. The people going through such phases need dysfunctional family therapy. The Expat Psychologist in Amsterdam can help individuals who need help with their communication difficulties and feelings of loneliness. She connects with the clients online to resolve their issues.
The Family Mascot
Also known as the clown, the mascot uses humour to lighten the mood and distract from family stress. Their jokes may ease tension temporarily, but they don’t address the real problems. As they grow up, mascots try to “rescue” others and seek approval to deal with guilt and low self-esteem.
Conclusion
We need to understand the family roles and know how they work within the whole system to improve family relationships and personal well-being. When people can see these patterns, they can start to break free from harmful cycles and create healthier connections with one another.
